Your Blessing Day

Dear Marianne,
Yesterday was perfect. I mean it...from sun-up to way past sun-down - it was a glorious day. I woke up while you were still sleeping and realized that you had slept all night. Now that is a wonderful way to start a day! Maybe the bath with lotion the night before did the trick...We had waffles with special syrup (buttermilk, yum), for breakfast because blessing days are special days. Bekah, Jacob, and Beau all really appreciated this, as did Uncle Tom who loved all the food this weekend almost as much as he loved your sweet chubby cheeks. (Here you are with him right before he had to leave.)

 We were ready for church on time - no small thing considering its 8am starting time - and you were lotioned and dressed in your beautiful blessing dress no more than ten minutes before it was time to leave. And oh my did you look precious! It's a good thing your arms aren't any chubbier or the sleeves would have been too tight. I just love that you were able to wear the same dress that Bekah wore. Cutesy made that dress and to this day it still doesn't have buttons on the back, but we decided it was better that way - pins work just fine. You wore adorable slippers on your feet and a bonnet on your head. (Better picture to come later...)

We got to church in time to save two big rows and we were pleasantly surprised to find that all the family arrived on time too - no small feat for them. In attendance for your special day there were: G&Nana Payne, G&G Cutesy, Uncle Jacob, Aunt DeAnn, Zaya, Russel, Aunt Carla, Uncle Doug, Libby, Emma, Ben, Spencer, Aunt Emilee, Uncle Chip, Uncle Jared, Uncle Tom, Taffy, Jeremy, Hailey, Cody, Gavin, and Jason (of Jason & Joy). It was a big, fun crew. I got to sit up on the stand watching everything because I am the chorister, and it was just so fun to see Nana, Jared, Cutesy, and Emilee all take turns holding you. You were the second baby blessed and no less than 8 men were part of the circle. Daddy is pretty funny about blessing circles - he likes them small - but there were just so many people there for you that eight hands held you while Daddy gave the blessing. Uncle Tom said you had your eyes open the whole time and you were looking at your daddy while he talked. (Tom knows because his eyes were open.) You were blessed with some really special things: to know the love of your Heavenly Father; that you were valiant and strong in the pre-existence; blessed to share your love and spirit with those around you; blessed to be like your Grandma Hansen who you are named after who is also valiant and strong and raised her family in the gospel; blessed to marry in the temple and raise up your family and that your children would be leaders; blessed with a spirit of understanding and knowledge and that you would know right from wrong and make good choices...
Phew! That's a lot of stuff for a tiny two-month old, but I swear I see everyone of those attributes and possibilities when I look in your blue eyes. You are special, Bug.
After church it was all about the food! And the good company of course! We had pulled pork sandwiches, a salad with berries and poppy see dressing, and a million veggies because Granddad raided the grocery store the night before. Cutesy held you most of the time (she just can't get enough of you), until you were just so worn out from all the noise that you were finally able to sleep. I took a nap too and it was wonderful. Later on, during another nap of yours, Granddad, Tom, Daddy and I played scrabble and Granddad won by a hair - it was a really close game. That was his second win in as many nights and I'm afraid his ego is quite inflated now.
Somehow while I was making dinner, this happened...so funny!

You even got in on the action (but didn't like how the mustache tickled your nose):

When everything finally settled down last night I laid in bed and thought about the day, and my heart was overflowing with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for such a perfect day. Our family is so blessed to have so many people who love us! I am so grateful that you came into our family to make such an occasion possible!
 
Love you lots and lots,
your Momma

Happy Sunday

Today was a good day. Today we were on time for 8am church so that I could be on time to lead the music. Amazing, huh. Today (unlike last Sunday), Beau did not poop in his pants during sacrament meeting and I did not have to give Marianne to a stranger to hold while I led the closing hymn because Rus was taking care of Beau's business. Today Beau did not return to sacrament meeting commando and Rus did not have to take him home to change. (Actually Rus had to take him home to finish pooping - How did he get him to finish pooping? - Rus ate Beau's Trunk or Treat candy while Beau sat on the toilet and said that he would keep eating his candy until he pooped. It didn't take too long...) Any Sunday would look good compared to last week, I guess. :)
Today I got a really good nap, made bones out of pretzels, marshmallows and white almond bark for Bekah and Jacob's classes at school, ate a PB&Honey sandwich for dinner and had new friends over for Sundae pie.
I also got to sit on the bed with all the kids and have a good conversation with Marianne. We all talked to her about different things.
Bekah told her about boys being scaredy cats, different subjects at school, and a friend from her class who won the karate trophy. (Bekah was a little bit jealous).
Beau talked and talked about Transformers, Bumblebee being his favorite.
Jacob aka Megatron talked about decepticons and Sentinel Prime. My boys are so obsessed with Transformers...they want Marianne to be well educated as well.
It was fun and incredibly relaxing...and Marianne was all ears. We are all completely smitten with her!


By the way thank you for the very considerate comments on my last post...

Sugar and Spice

Oh life, sweet life. It is usually so much easier and wiser to ignore the harder aspects of life when I write for this blog. I mean, who wants to hear about grumpy kids or a messy house or the usual four o'clock witching hour? We all know that those hard and trying things are a part of everyday life and it just feels so much more optimistic to glaze them over and write about silly/happy kids, fun milestones, amazing craft projects and adventures. It's almost like writing about dark times means acknowledging that things are actually hard, cloudy, dull and difficult. And so while writing about roses all the time is more pleasurable, it's just plain dumb to assume that they got there without any storms.
So with that lengthy prologue, here is a little about my storms of late...feel free to click away if you don't want to hear me whine...
Rus and I went on a date this past weekend. (I know, talk about STORM...just kidding - that was the good part, people!) DeAnn and Jake had our three older kids and so it was just us and Marianne alone for one evening, one night, and one morning. And although it was wonderful to have some time to ourselves, it seemed to take us quite a while to decompress...and while I sat there trying to think of why I felt so tense and tired I thought about all the things we have done this year: remodeling, moving, putting our house up for rent, having a new baby, changing schools, changing wards... DUH! I think we can check of quite a few things on our "stress factor" list! Just one of those things can be stressful, but all of them together has left me feeling like I am in the twilight zone. I must say: We have been richly blessed that everything has gone so well this year. But it has still been hard. Marianne is a wonderful baby, but at times I am just so exhausted that it is a huge effort to rock her to sleep or feed her one more time. Nursing her did not go well and now I am feeding her formula - a decision that has left me feeling a little depressed and guilty. I really wanted to nurse her like I did Beau. When she was about four weeks old and the pain was really intense (crying every time she latched on), I went to talk to a lactation consultant who thought I might have thrush. I took the medication for thrush but it had horrible side effects and so I quit taking it. I talked with another lactation consultant. I met with two midwives at different times (who said, "well, let me know if you figure it out..."). I tried different positions, used a nipple shield, tried two different creams, pumped...I really, really feel like I exhausted all my options and that quitting was necessary. So I tried to quit gradually so it wouldn't affect her very much, but then I found that nursing her hurt, and not nursing her hurt and so I quit cold turkey. Five days ago. And it still hurts, and she hasn't been sleeping well and she has a little cold today and I can't help but feel even more guilty because while nursing her hurt me, she was happy and content.
Bekah, Jacob and Beau have been great helpers through all of this but I can tell that me not feeling good affects them too. They are tired and jumpy and whiny just like I am. Guilt, guilt! I know the mother is the heart of the home, but dang! That's a lot of responsibility! I would really like to feel like a normal, happy, light-hearted person sometime soon...and by "normal" I mean super-mom who remembers everything, never yells (or cries), keeps everything clean, crafts, volunteers at the school, exercises, and makes jokes. The mom I am today does not find any humor in the five smelly diapers that are lingering on couches and floors around the house, the fact that Colonel has eaten two of Marianne's bottles, Bekah's "hoarder-esque" bedroom, the funny smell coming out of the boys room, my dirty bathroom, my roller-coaster emotions, and the impending holiday season in general. If I'm really being honest, the mom I am today would just like to be flat chested again. (Now that's funny. Admit it.)
Arggg...well there you have it. I promise to step down from my tower of lamentation now and tell you a few of the good things of late:
My birthday was on Tuesday, and considering the discomfort of not nursing (which please tell me some of you are familiar with), it was actually a really good day. I had lunch with Rus, took Beau to the park, got to visit with my (Rus's) cousin Joy, and was surprised by DeAnn and a dozen cupcakes from Cake Fetish. The cupcakes were delicious. I think I had a bite of each one of them (we cut them into fourths and everyone got to sample a few...I admit in the middle of the night I was swearing off sugar for good). Rus made me dinner, facebook sent dozens of emails my way full of birthday wishes, and I got phone calls and texts from people I love. It was a really fun day and I felt super special, just like you should on your birthday.
Here is me and the Bug - she is getting SO chubby it cracks me up! LOVE those rolls and her big double chin!

And here is the only cupcake that was left by the time I got around to taking a picture...which is really your loss because those dozen cupcakes were simply beautiful.

And yes, here is a bird. Rus has turned into one of those obsessed bird watchers. I went to upload pictures for this post and found a half dozen pictures of birds that he saw outside and wanted to identify. Gosh he's such a nerd and I love him! Incidentally this one is a curved-bill thrasher.

Not-So-Scary-Witch

Marianne is going to be a witch for Halloween...simply because she is such a CUTE one! Amanda coordinated her outfit - a super cute onesie with a black fluffy skirt, polka dot leggings, and little mini-witch headband, made by me but directed by Amanda. EEK! 

This picture KILLS me! Look at those cheeks! Those big blue eyes! 

And now smiling...

Here is Marianne with the pumpkin bag my mom made for Amy. At least thirty years ago my mom made a similar (but not nearly so cute) bag for our family. It has graced Halloween for that long and each of us girls have loved and enjoyed it. My mom used to make popcorn balls for us to take to school and we would fill the pumpkin bag with them. I am lucky enough to have the original bag but my sisters and mom have always wanted one of their own, so that was one of our many craft projects last weekend. My mom sewed it and Amanda did the stitching. She is amazing at embroidery!

And just for fun here is a picture of Jacob lotion-ing Marianne. After a particularly successful blowout on her part, Marianne wound up in her little bathtub getting the full treatment. Jacob put the shampoo in her hair and rubbed her hands and feet while she squeaked and looked around happily. (Thank goodness she is warming up to baths now.) Then we wrapped her up in a lion towel, dried her off, and gave her a full-chubby-body massage with some yummy essential oils and massage lotion. She ate it up, and Jacob loved it too. (In this picture he is saying, "I get to put it on her bum?!") He is definitely my sweet child. He didn't even mind it when he realized she had peed on him. 

Such a nice boy. :)

 

Amanda's Visit and SMILING Baby

This weekend I was SO lucky to have my sister Amanda come visit! Driven by the desire to hug-love-kiss my baby, Amanda bought a plane ticket, left her family in her husband's capable hands, and swooped in for a few days of craftiness, baby kisses, and all around craziness. We had a great time! My mom was also able to visit (I must have sounded super desperate last week. :) I'll have to post pictures of our crafting later (halloween-themed, so fun!)...for now here is one of Amanda and I and the kids with their spiders that Amanda helped them make.

And here is my SMILING baby!


I could look at this adorable face all day. And I do, for the most part. :) I was so happy that she cooperated for the camera. All you have to do is tell Marianne how pretty/chubby/gorgeous she is and she just can't contain herself. Eek, how I love this happy baby!
In other news Jacob had his snack day today which means that he got to take the classroom bear home (named, "Bear"). He is supposed to take pictures with Bear and write down what they do together. Jacob wanted to go hiking and so I wrapped him up with my moby wrap and off he went with Amanda, Bekah and Beau. He wrote in Bear's book, "We ate ice cream. We turned Bear into a ninja. We went hiking."

Amanda was also able to spoil Beau. Marianne got a nice bath with lotion and Beau wanted his turn. Amanda obliged and Beau enjoyed a full body massage. :)

I feel spoiled! We ate wonderful food, made adorable crafts, had a really fun girls night out, enjoyed the kids' primary program at church, went on a hike, napped, played, laughed, and talked, talked, talked. Good thing my house is trashed so I can still keep a good grip on reality.

Balloon Fiesta 2011 (with Amy, Luke & Sarah)

Two weeks ago my sister Amy came to visit with two of her kids, Luke and Sarah. They came to kiss and cuddle Marianne...and enjoy Albuquerque's annual balloon fiesta.
I enjoyed Amy's visit so much! Luke was really fun - we quizzed him on New Mexico trivia and his times tables and learned a lot of awesome jokes from him. Sarah was super cute with Marianne. She loved to hold her, and she put herself in charge of picking out her outfits everyday. Bekah and Sarah played all weekend, and Jacob was overjoyed to have Luke to explore the ditch behind our house with.
On Saturday morning Amy and I woke up at 5am, loaded up the kids (with the exception of Beau - he stayed with Rus who doesn't like early mornings or crowds), and headed to Balloon Fiesta Park. The weather was perfect, very warm, considering, and the balloons were fantastic. This year we learned how fun it was to run between the balloons as they were inflating them. It was really exhilarating and the kids loved it! Marianne was snuggled up and hunkered down in my wrap for most of the morning. She did great! I guess it pays to be brave with an almost-newborn. Here are my favorite pics from the adventure:





Amy and I were trying to get a good shot of Marianne with the balloons in the background...She was not having it. It was almost comical how incapable we were of getting a picture of her with balloons in the background...















Do you spy Marianne in the pic below?





Love it...Thank you Amy for visiting me! And for scrabble for breakfast and the creme brulee french toast. Yum...

Photo Shoot with Marianne (@ 2 Weeks) and the SIP Project

So almost a month ago (wow! time flies!) when Marianne was only two weeks, my sister in law DeAnn did a little photo shoot of Marianne. She had a wonderful collection of scarves, baskets, hairbows, and blankets. And then the sun shining outside just warmed Marianne up and knocked her out. She was the perfect little sleeping model for a small part of our shoot. I did provide this one small prop - an old wood box that used to be Rus' grandpa's. I thought Rus would love a picture of her in it for his office.

DeAnn provided this "nest" and Marianne was the perfect little sleeping baby bird. So cute! These were my two favorite pictures from our shoot. It turns out babies are really hard subjects, but DeAnn did a great job with her.

And so now I can plug DeAnn's new project that she has named the SIP (Service is Painless) project. She is in the process of making a blog that will showcase photos she takes in return for service rendered. So if you would like professional-quality photos taken, just email DeAnn (paynelessphoto@gmail.com), schedule a time, and then think of what kind of service you can do for someone (anyone) else in exchange for her services. Document your service (on her blog, I think) and you will receive a cd of your pictures for free! Awesome.