Dear Woman in the Hobby Lobby Parking Lot,

Today I jumped ship. Abandoned my post.
Headed north with Jacob and Beau and didn't look back.
This last week, although not even half way done, has been a doozy. I've felt lost, unsatisfied with what I've done at the end of the day, upset at myself for loosing my temper with my kids, more upset for not enjoying my God-given gift of motherhood.
Inspired by the Hobby Lobby coupon in my inbox and needing a picture frame, I headed up to crafter's heaven and children's hell. It's never fun for them, no matter what you do.
That store will put horns on your angel child faster than cotton candy.
While waiting for the lady to cut all of my fabric at a snail's pace, Jacob discovered measuring tapes that have a button to instantly rewind the tape. He wanted it and seeing it was a dollar, I relented. We picked out a blue one for Jacob; he said Bekah would want one later and it would have to be purple.
At the check out lane he fell out of love with his measuring tape and wanted a candy bar instead.
"Jacob, if you don't want this measuring tape I'm not going to buy it for you.
"Do you want it?"
No, he said, convincingly.
"You can't have any candy, though."
I paid for the rest of my things and then tried to leave. Jacob realized he was leaving empty handed and had a fit. Sometimes when he has a fit he cries so hard he can't breathe. Then his lips turn blue, his face loses all color, his eyes roll back and he falls on the floor. Then I blow in his mouth and he breathes, and an awesome cry welcomes color back to his face. Not this time. This time he was yelling bloody murder and I was grateful.
No passing out is a good thing.
I buckled Beau in the van, loaded my goodies, and miracuously kept my cool as Jacob managed to get in his seat, yelling, "I NEED TO GO BAAAACK!".
My insides were feeling super defeated, like this is exactly why I feel trapped sometimes.
As I walked around the van to get in my seat, a woman parked adjacent to me, and obviously a witness to the whole thing said,
You're doing a good job.
You're so patient.
This will pass.
You're doing a good job!
She might as well have been an angel. That was just what I needed to hear. I got in the van and cried, but not sad tears, grateful ones.
I am well taken care of.

Camping in Northern NM

"MOM! I haven't been camping when I was five yet!"
That was pretty much the argument that Bekah gave Rus and I for needing, having to go camping this weekend. So we cleared our ultra busy schedule...if cleaning the church and garage sailing (yes I did spell it like that on purpose, why not) qualify for "ultra busy"...and we loaded up the pop-up and headed north.
And drove.
And drove.
And drove.
It took us about four hours, actually. Crazy, huh, for just an over-nighter.
We got to our campground, set up everything in the dark, and enjoyed hot dogs and marshmallows by the campfire.
Bekah and Jacob loved it. Beau did too, as long as he was sitting on my lap or Rus's. We told stories, ate too many marshmallows, and did a thorough job of making ourselves smell like a fire.
It was delightful.
Then we headed off to bed in our cozy but not airtight (and thus cold) pop-up, where I froze half the night, Rus worried about the kids freezing half the night, and the kids all slept, the whole night.
The next day we all woke up too early (thank you Bekah), had breakfast, and headed out fully bundled up to go fishing before the sun even touched the frosted floor of our canyon. Rus was able to catch a fish in the stream right by us before we completely lost the kids' interest, but my attempts at catching one were too much for them. Whining ensued (I know. Shocking.) and so we headed back to the jeep to adventure out on a drive.We wound up later at the Salman Raspberry Ranch and found it to be a picturesque, energetic little place with rows and rows of raspberry bushes and all sorts of people, young and old, with hats, canes, walkers, and umbrellas, filling up their buckets and baskets with fresh raspberries. The air was warm, the sun bright, the company friendly, and the raspberries delicious.
And let me tell you, Beau loved it.And loved it.And loved it.Eat raspberries much?I'm sure he ate at least a half a pound all by himself. In fact we told the lady to charge us extra, he ate so much! He would pull off a raspberry, and if it was ripe he'd eat it, but if it wasn't he would spit it out.
Bekah and Jacob had fun too, but they found holding the buckets and letting us fill them up much more enjoyable than actually picking very many themselves.After we picked our fill we walked up to the Salman Cafe and Salman Ranch Store. The whole place was beautiful. It's located right next to an old mill and the adobe brick construction was simply fascinating. Go there. I'm serious. Just for the pictures you can take.
Then we came home. The kids slept for almost three hours on the drive home. We loved it, although we didn't really acknowledge it because, well, you know. Then they would have woken up.
It was a wonderful trip.

I Am a Pirate

"Here, hold my sword!" said Jacob. "Bad Guys!"
Pshoo! Pshoo! "I shot them!" he says.
"I have poison!" I said.
"Good! Throw it on them! When they step on it, it will kill them!"
"Captain!" Jacob means me of course. "There's another pirate! Throw your water on him!"
"But I want to drink it," my weak non-pirate blood cries. Then I see the desperation in Captain Jacob's eyes (yep he's a captain, too) and I throw a splash of water overboard.
"Good! You got his eye! Get his other eye! Get the rest of him!"
Again my cold water goes overboard.
"Good job!"
Then he gives me a consoling look. "Mommy, we're good guys, okay? We're good guys," he says, as if to reassure me of our status despite all the recent killings.
Later our Pirate Ship Playhouse seems to be meeting a more favorable wind, so I meet Jacob at the railing and order a hamburger.
"I don't have any."
"French fries?"
"Um...No," he says without remorse.
I give in. "Okay, Poison?"
His eyes light up. "Yeah!"
I go to take it from him and he gently chides me, "It's a dollar."
I go on to order more poison, a cannon (which was only available after the brief explanation that it blows things up), and several rockets.
Later we ventured to distant islands and used our sword to chop down old cornstalks. We also gathered more poison (basil blossoms). It rained a lot though (according to Jacob), and each time we had to run back to the ship for safety.
Can I just say I love being a pirate with Captain Jacob?
Arrgg!
Oh, and in case you forgot, this is what our playhouse looks like, courtesy of Bekah.

To Do List.

How To Can Chicken, for Caryn.

(click on pic to enlarge)

An Artist's Sketch of My Day

Because my camera is kaput. That's why. And we have been up to important things. Really important. Like the whole blogger world should know about my chicken venture. (Canning forty pounds of chicken. It sounded like a good idea, Rachel!) Anyone have any good chicken jokes? I'd love to hear them.

Caramel Apple Sopaipilla Cheesecake Bars

So...have you ever tried Sopaipilla Cheesecake Pie??Cheesecake. Cinnamon. Buttery, flaky crust. Crisp cinnamon and sugar topping.
You are missing out, seriously, if you haven't. Go HERE for the recipe.
And then try my variation...the addition of cut up apples sprinkled with cinnamon and these delightful little buggers:So yum. So almost fall. It made my house smell like all of those wonderful autumn things...apple cider, brisk air, changing leaves...
Here is how I did the variation:
After putting the cream cheese mixture on the crescent dough, put 1-2 diced apples (depending on your taste) and then sprinkle with 3/4 cup Kraft Caramel bits. Cover with remaining crescent dough and follow the rest of the recipe.
Mmm Mmm Good.
Let me know what you think.