The Fridge Saga

1:35pm, Thursday...I am startled awake from a nap by a loud buzzing noise. I try to place the noise. After briefly considering air raids, Bekah's carebear on low batteries, or the elders quorum (from church) singing on my front steps, I suddenly realize that the sound is coming from my 100 year old refrigerator, kept alive only by my husband's unwillingness to part with several hundred dollars in return for modern (and cold, not freezerburned) technology. It sounds like my fridge is screaming AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
It lasts at least 15 seconds. Of course Rus is not there to hear it, although honestly I didn't think he'd really care...

9:42am Friday...While standing in front of the fridge getting Jacob his 5th sipper of milk of the day (he starts early), "THE NOISE" happens again. It is still loud and painful and lasts much longer than it should, but honestly everyone should try to pause their lives for 15 (or 20) seconds each day to reexamine their actions, their purpose in life, and why there is a spoon and an opened, half empty container of yogurt on the bottom shelf of the fridge. (WHY?!)

8:16pm Saturday...Ah, what a wonderful moment of relaxation...the kids are in bed and I've already gone up stairs twice to put on the obligatory lotion on Bekah's "itchy spots" and give Jacob a "CHUCK!" (truck), so I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to sit and relax with Rus and watch our movie. Emilee, his sister is staying the night with us, so we're all camped out ready to be amazed by the third, (and please!) final installment of Pirates of the Carribbean. The "NOISE" happens again, and although it does last as long and is just as obnoxious as before, I don't even flinch. I've heard it before. The "NOISE" disrupts Rus though, and suddenly I realize that the expression on his face is one of anger. I think at that moment he felt betrayed by the Ancient One. He got up and pulled the fridge out from the wall. I think the "NOISE" happened at least five more times during that movie (wish I could take credit for the awesome timing, but I cannot), and everytime, Rus would leap off of the couch faster than I thought he could move and run to stare at the back of the fridge and (PLEASE!) find where the forsaken sound is coming from. Ahhh. It was a good movie. :)

12:03am...We found out when Bekah was born that Rus is a light sleeper, whereas I...am not. And that is why the NOISE woke him from sleep, and that is why he was laying there grumbling, and that is when I woke up.
Rus: The fridge made the NOISE again.
Keri: It did?
Rus: Yeah. I hope it didn't wake Emilee.
Keri: You're right. She is merely a few feet from the fridge, sleeping on the couch.
Rus: It could be a long night for her.
Keri (in my head): You're telling me!
Keri (out loud): Yes, but she is a teenager, and studies have shown that the sleep deprivation of teenagers derived from their long hours of partying, school, and text messaging, enables them to sleep through anything, including nuclear war and chinese invasion.
Rus: I think I'll go check on her anyways......(a few moments later)...I couldn't wake her to save my life. I guess she's okay. But maybe I should just unplug the fridge for the night so it doesn't make that NOISE. And I don't want it to fritz out in the middle of the night and not know about it.
Keri (in my head): Those steaks in the fridge cost more than my pajamas, there is no way I'm going to subject them to any temperature that is less than optimal!
Keri (out loud): Rus, you are talking crazy! What's the difference between unplugging the fridge and it fritzing out in the middle of the night? Either way it is off!
Rus: SNORE. (To make up for his light sleeping he does fall asleep fast.)

5:16pm, Sunday... Our friends are over, enjoying the wonderful juicey steaks we grilled, that were kept cold in the non-fritzed out fridge. The NOISE happens at least three times during dinner, and every time we all pause to consider world peace and why Jacob is eating his noodles off the floor.

8:02am Monday...We are at Home Depot. The credit card has been used and the signature signed. Delivery is scheduled for Thursday. Our new baby will be 25 cubic feet of glory, complete with a water dispenser and door bins large enough for gallons of milk.

In retrospect, I really couldn't have planned this any better myself. But just don't tell Rus. I have to act like I'm in mourning, and despair the money that we spent on it, because if I don't then he might think that this is a wonderful gift for me and that he is now fully justified in spending the same amount on tires for his truck. Now that would be sad. :)