You Know You're a Mom If...

You hear that "Phantom Baby" crying when you're in the shower, or blow-drying your hair, or listening to music, or even when the house is perfectly silent.

You've ever wiped your child's boogers with his own shirt.

You've ever lost a cell phone, remote control, or even a car remote to your teething toddler's drool.

You've contemplated securing your toddler's diaper with duct tape just to make sure it stays on.

You catch yourself singing the ABC song even when your child is not around.

You eat PB&J's (or honey) for lunch on a regular basis.

You catch yourself yelling something absurd, like "Jacob, stop sitting on Beau's head!" or "Jacob! GROSS! Toilet brushes are NOT toys!"

You've ever listened an entire movie but never actually watched it.

You've begun rating how clean your house is, from "Disaster" to "Miracle" and you're perfectly content if it's just "Clean Underneath Everything."

You've taught your four-year-old to pour milk in sippers and find cartoons on the TV just so you can sleep in longer.

You call your husband at work to celebrate your baby learning how to clap or crawl or play peek-a-boo.

You hate laundry.

You know your child by her cry.

You cry when your child stops taking naps.

You view your relationship with your computer as a connection to the outside world.

You love wipees.

You have cheerios/fruitsnacks/candy bribes in the bottom of your purse. Purse? Did I say that? I meant diaper bag, of course.

Anything I missed?
Oh, and I have to gloat a little...all my bathrooms are clean again. YAY! It's postworthy because it rarely happens. (Even the tubs. And the wall going up my stairs, thanks to my magic eraser. LOVE those things!)