Beau

Beau sat in the tub this morning staring at me with red rimmed eyes. He didn't splash or play with toys...he just sat cross legged with his arms close to his tummy and hands between his legs as if to retain as much body heat as possible. He didn't talk or make noise of any sort...but if I cooed at him and smiled he would give me an almost guilty smile back.
It melted me.
I hurried to get changed and teeth brushed, make up on (for the first time in days, thank you flu...I even shaved today, I must be feeling better)...then I asked Beau if he wanted out, if he was all done. That did it and his tired resolve broke and he started talking in a sad, abused little voice, Mama, Mama!
I got him out of the tub, wrapped him in a piggy towel and used a tissue to wipe his nose while I rocked him in my chair. He even obliged and blew his nose, smart little thing...I sang a little song to him in my dry but returning voice and when I looked back down he was asleep. It took all of one minute.
I froze.
He hasn't fallen asleep in my arms since he was a tiny thing...well he never was really tiny, but you know what I mean...and he is so big now he stretches from my chest to my thighs.
I have to take in every part of his sleeping face...long beautiful lashes, not really dark but not blonde...cute little bump of a nose, soft soft cheeks and full little lips. I have to rub my nose on his cheeks, give him an eskimo kiss and kiss his cheeks...they are just too inviting. His hair was still wet so I brushed it with my fingers until it stood on end and he looked like an angelic sleeping skater boy. So full of personality, even when asleep, even when tired and sick.
I love Beau.