Margaret Windham

It all changed when she let me rub her feet.
Up until then she was a very proper, rarely expressive grandmother of my husband.
The first time I met her was at Rus's parent's house in Edgewood. She came walking in, not bustling or timid like your typical grandmother, but purposeful, erect, grand.
Yes, Margaret Windham was a Lady.
She also had fist fulls of dollar bills for each of her grandchildren, only to be received by way of the famous "Windham Handshake." Rus didn't tell me this, though, so I was left a little uncertain with Rus prodding me forward to shake Grams' hand. They all laughed at me and the relief in my face when I realized the joke...and the prize.
After that, visits with Grams usually meant lunch at Eloys (chile rellenos, yum) or Furrs (not as yum...) or somewhere else where my kids would go crazy and I would leave in a fluster.
Then a two and a half years ago her husband passed away. The first time Rus saw his Grandpa Windham he was in a casket. Grandpa and Grams aren't Mormon, and Louise - their daughter, Rus's mom - is. She was swept away by the handsome Roger Payne, baptized and later literally eloped to the Temple.
Grandpa never really spoke to her again.
It's not meant to be a tragic story...as Rus says, "it is what it is."
After Grandpa passed, the world of Grams was opened to us. We were able to visit her at her house, eat dinner with her and drop by whenever we wanted. Her house was child proofed...again and again until one day a shelf appeared in the den full of toys and alongside it was a play kitchen and a box of play food.
Grams had us wrapped around her finger.
For Christmas a year ago Rus and I bought her the greatest present ever...never to be outdone. It was a gumball machine packed full of M&Ms. Grams became the favorite person in the room each time she was visited because only she could give away the pennies capable of unlocking the machine and dispensing handfuls of M&Ms to greedy hands. Soon even the babies knew that Grams was the one to talk to, and that the bright red machine held the "yum-yums."
Now lest I have misled you completely, you should know that Grams did have wonderful stories and opinions and a terrific laugh, and with a little prodding from Rus's dad she would share memories of different adventures she had gone on. And while I would not consider her an emotional person, all it took was a smile from Grams and you knew that she was having herself a wonderful time.
She loved to hold all the babies (well the ones that didn't cry were favorite), and would always let them take hold of her finger and then shake it gently. She absolutely loved hearing stories of her great-grandchildren...if it was a really good story, I'd hear of how she would share it with all of her friends, too.
Last year Grams' health really started declining. She was home bound since last summer, bed bound since before Christmas. Louise spent so much time caring for her. Rus and I have remarked several times how impressed we are with Louise and Roger's patience, and with how selfless they have been in adapting to Grams' slower pace and needs.
One day I went up to visit Grams, armed with lotion and nail polish. My kids entertained themselves (miraculously), and I was able to rub some moisture into Grams' "alligator skin," as she called it. I talked to her, asked her questions, had her tell me stories about herself when she was my age, how she met Grandpa... I filed her nails and polished them, and then rubbed her feet and legs with lotion, too.
That was when I knew I loved her. She let me serve her and it changed everything. My heart was filled up and I was just so grateful to know her and be a part of her family!
The biggest compliment she ever paid me was when she said that I fit right in...I think it was after I had told her about sewing something. :)
Planning her 86th birthday party also taught me so much about Margaret Windham. Not Grams as I had always seen her, but the woman who went skiing and fishing and always dressed very proper yet fashionable...the woman who used to sew lingerie and who grew irises and loved genealogy and had visited practically every continent. I saw her with dark hair and smooth skin and lips that were rarely without lipstick. I saw her holding and feeding her babies and dipping their toes in a lake.
I saw a glimpse of her life in contrast with the shell of a life she has been leading confined to her bed.
This morning she was set free. This morning she was able to greet her husband and her sister and a child she had lost, Joseph. She was free of the confines of her aged body, and I'm sure she greeted them with a spring in her step and strength in her arms.
This morning she went home to the God who gave her life.
I am infinitely grateful to have known her.

Margaret Leonard Windham

February 28, 1924 to March 29, 2010