Sunday, December 14, 2014

School Was Two Miles Away, Uphill Both Ways

We are blessed to have a bus that stops directly in front of our home, with a wonderful bus driver, Jim, a grandparent himself, who knows every single kid by name. I'm sure you must be able to guess the saintly qualities he possesses to successfully manage a bus load of kids twice a day, every day.
My kids are not always well behaved on the bus. Beau is loud and invasive, Jacob is stubborn and private, and Bekah seems to think she's Jim's right hand man - in charge of keeping the peace. There have been a couple of occasions when the kids all exit the bus and I'm assaulted with a hurricane of accusations aimed at a sibling and everyone is either crying or yelling as they enter the house.
So glad to have them home, I think to myself with just a touch of sarcasm...
About a month ago this exact scenario played out, and when the kids were finally done yelling and crying, the details gradually unfolded:
Verse 1:
Jacob was sitting in the front seat of the bus, right behind the driver.
Bekah got on the bus and wanted to sit with Jacob.
Jacob said no.
Bekah insisted.
Jacob staunchly refused.

Verse 2:
Bekah sat anyway.
Jacob pounded her back.
Bekah yelled that she had to sit there to help watch the bad kids on the bus. (Ironic, no?)
Jacob pushed and pounded Bekah.

Chorus:
Jim told Jacob to stop.
Jacob wouldn't
Jim told Bekah to move.
She wouldn't.

Repeat Chorus three times.

Finale:
Bekah moves to another seat.

They somehow survived the rest of the 15 minute ride home, and I was met with extreme sadness and agitation. I listened to both sides, appealed to expert witnesses (Beau), and sat on it the rest of the night without doing anything.
The next morning, Rus and I explained to them that they had both lost the privilege of using anything with wheels to get to school, because they obviously could not be expected to behave. I asked what their plan was to get to school, and they eventually came to the conclusion that the only way to school was to walk.
Jacob yelled at me the entire 45 minutes that he normally spends getting ready for school, but somehow, at the designated time (45 minutes before school was to start, 15 minutes before they normally have to be ready), he was outside, backpack on and shoes tied and he and Bekah headed off for school. Bekah was thankfully quite resolved to her fate.
I texted Jim and let him know that the kids would not be riding the bus, that they had lost their privilege and would be enjoying a supervised walk to school. He replied that they had gotten quite mad at each other they day before and that he was sorry. I replied that it was not his fault and he shouldn't have to deal with that. He replied, "Thank you."
Beau (my favorite child of the moment), rode with Marianne and I in the van and we slowly, slowly followed them down the hill, through the stoplight, over the speed bumps, around the corner, and to the school. Two miles.
This is the blurry picture I took through the windshield and texted to Rus, along with "it was a most painful morning with Jacob. But they are walking now." He replied, "That may not have made their day. But it made me chuckle."
And guess what, by the time they arrived, they were both in great spirits, laughing and talking with each other. I even hauled their backpacks for them the last half mile because they weren't scowling anymore.
I showed them where to meet me at the end of the day, handed them notes to give their teachers explaining that they were to walk, not ride the bus, and waved goodbye.
Jim texted me to say that I had good kids - they had both come up to him and apologized for their behavior.
I think Bekah enjoyed telling all of her classmates about her "extreme punishment."
At the end of the day, I met them and again followed them home. Up the street with the speedbumps, Up the street through the stoplight. Up the road with more speedbumps. Up, up, up. Water and goldfish were provided. Pleas for a ride were denied. Backpacks were hauled in the van. I'm not kidding when I say it is quite a hill to my house. It's probably at least a thousand foot elevation change. It's awful. But with minimal complaining, they made it up. I only had a few homeowners look at me like I was a creepy stalker following innocent children.
At the driveway, we discussed proper bus behavior, and I reiterated that they would have to walk again if they ever behaved that way again. We compared times - 20 minutes on the bus or 50 minutes by foot. Luckily, they saw the advantage to having someone drive them.
We went inside where they wrote letters to Jim, apologizing again for their behavior and sharing with him their favorite parts of riding the bus. Jacob agonized over his letter, but eventually came up with one that was minimally heartfelt.
It was quite an ordeal. But they did it, and hopefully, the next time Bekah asks Jacob if she can sit with him, he will simply say...
Yes.

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