How to Get Hit By a Car

If you are going to get hit by a car whilst riding your bike home from work, there are some simple guidelines you should follow:

Make sure you and the villainous car are both going at slow speeds. 

Wear a helmet.

Ride in the crosswalk.

Only allow the car to hit you on your front tire, sparing the rest of the bike and your lower appendages any damage at all.

Tuck and roll.

Use your head.

Resist the offer of an ambulance ride.

Have great neighbors, family and friends nearby.

This past Wednesday night a young man in his car with his kids unwittingly played a part in poking our families mortality bubble - you know, that sense of immunity from sickness, accidents, and death. He was turning left and crossed paths with Rus, who was riding straight through a crosswalk. He just didn't see him, despite Rus's light clothing and multiple blinking lights. He clipped Rus's front tire and Rus went up onto the hood of the car and then rolled off the other side, landing on the asphalt on his head and shoulder. The man stopped immediately, was super apologetic, and in a blur a policeman and ambulance were at the scene as well, checking on a super adrenalined Rus. He was hurting really bad on his left shoulder but resisted taking a ride in the ambulance. Instead he called me.

I was at home with nine kids. Four, of course, were mine, and five were Carla's. She and Doug had gone to the hospital to visit a friend whose baby was in the NICU. I had cooked chicken, green beans, and had just started on some pancakes, a weird combination, I know, but I knew it would appeal to the masses. Rus called, calmly told me he had been hit, and I calmly asked him to repeat himself and then we calmly worked out the details of how I would come pick him and his bike up. The call felt not-unlike several that I've had over the past year where he needed me to rescue him because his VW bug broke down. I told him that I'd load up the littler kids and leave the big kids at home, but when I hung up I realized immediately that that was a bad idea. Instead I called my own first responder and neighbor Jen and she came up with her two kids to take care of everyone. She later texted me a picture - she was holding my 15 month old nephew Johnny who had fallen asleep in her arms with a pancake clutched to his face.

I drove to pick up Rus. I was anxious to get there quickly, worried that he'd downplayed his situation and that I'd be greeted by a much more grim scene. Actually when I arrived at the corner where Rus had wrecked, I just saw him and his mangled bike. That was it. 

I loaded up him and his bike and he informed me that it was date night! Just kidding. He said we needed to go to the ER because his shoulder was in a lot of pain. I called Carla, who was naturally very worried when I informed her that Rus had been hit. She was actually at the hospital still, and wanted to see Rus before heading back home to watch the kids.

We had a brief exchange with Carla and Doug at the ER where Carla cried and Doug poked around on Rus's shoulder, and then we sat to wait and wait. It was, according the the employees there, an unusually busy night at the ER. Highlights: Getting to be x-rayed on a brand new x-ray machine, listening to a man chew out the nurses because he had "been there for days," listening to a young woman moaning and wailing uncontrollably, and eating Subway for dinner. Two hours later (not too bad!) we were leaving, papers in hand that read: Fractured Clavicle and Neck Sprain.

By the time we got home, my mom had replaced Carla and Doug (so that they could get their kids to bed), our kids were in bed except for Marianne, and Rus was happy to down some pain killers. The whole ordeal, crash to finish, had taken four hours. Rus was actually in good spirits, and the general consensus was that the whole thing could have been so much worse.

If you have to get hit by a car, that's the way to do it.

Here's to hoping that insurance money buys him his dream bike!

And now some pics: I actually have no idea how to read this x-ray. But to my untrained eye, that clavicle looks really bad.

Rus really loved having me take pictures of him.