Bye, February!

This month has certainly been overflowing with good stuff...
Like all sorts of craftiness, including these felted flower brooches from THIS tutorial (no matter that the black and gray one that I sent my mom my dad mistook for a tarantula and the pink one for Amy she laughed at, wondering what to do with it...)This sexy red t-shirt, cut down from a men's 2XL t-shirt, with flowers added like THIS tutorial (gotta love red shirts...it's such a power color, don't you think?)...And new finds in baking, such as THESE easy and festive fortune cookies. (Watch out, learning new things makes you a target for providing relief society party desserts!!) Here is Beau helping me...Next time you want to make something but have a little too much help, just let go and give your kid a bowl full of flour and a spoon. And a sifter if you feel like it. It is guaranteed to occupy for at least ten minutes. And then to top it off, yesterday we were able to be a part of a huge birthday bash for Grams, Rus's mom's mother, who turned 86. I found an old scrapbook that Grandpa Windham had put together with pictures of them when they were courting, first married, and having children. I scanned in all of my favorites (really all of the pictures were wonderful), and turned them into a scrapbook for each of us grandkids to have. Grams is not expecting to live much longer...she has lung cancer and is pretty much confined to her bedroom, and this party was a wonderful way to gather all her loved ones in one place, share stories, take pictures, reminisce, laugh, and of course eat. :) Here is my favorite picture of her; she is a beautiful, strong woman.Tomorrow I will leap into March. There is so much to do and I am grateful to be busy.
By the way, Rus bought his motorcycle, a Honda DRZ 400. I will even admit to "letting" him buy it, if such a concept were really true. He loves it, I'm excited to go on adventures with him, it's a win-win situation. :)
Now bring it on, March.

Do I Love Buffalo?

Jacob playing in the tub with a LittlePeople buffalo...

"Mommy, do I love buffalo?"

I don't know, Jakey, do you?

"I don't know! I haven't tasted them before!"

Poop, Snow Man, and the Rubber Hand Man

There is a walmart bag with dog poop in it on my front doorsteps, humiliating me each time I open the door, welcoming each unknowing visitor. I'm dreading that someone will pick it up and hand it back to me...But then ten seconds later the door closes and I forget about it, and that is why it is still there, almost two full days after being cast out.
Good thing the cold weather negates the smell. Yuck.
Our dog really stinks.
Bekah had a substitute at school today. The second I saw her after school I knew something was up, and I will admit I was a little surprised to hear that according to Bekah, "he (the substitute) was electrocuted and they had to cut off his hand and now it's rubber and he took it off to show us, but I didn't look because I was scared, and there was a bone sticking out and he could turn his hand all the way around on his wrist."
Wow. This guy really upped the ante on Subs, now didn't he.
That's hard to beat.
As Bekah told me this gruesome/funny story she was coloring a picture for her favorite Disney Princess magazine. Kids can submit drawings of their favorite princesses, and so despite never having watched the show, Bekah drew Snow White. With a blue dress. Standing in the snow.
With Snow Man.
Does anyone else find that ridiculously funny and witty, or is it just my parental pride seeping out?
I have to go now, I had a late run to Walmart and it was only ever so slightly traumatic, as in I forgot my list and had to remember everything, which is impossible, thus necessitating a LIST, which I FORGOT. Urg...So as I pounded the aisles in frustration, throwing food in the cart on top of Jacob, who was trying to sleep using the loaves of bread as a blanket, Bekah consoled me by saying very frankly, "But we have to buy food or we'll die."
True. Very true.
So because of that trauma Rus is going to give me a back massage. I'd be crazy to sit here chattin' with you yahoos.
Catch ya later. :)

Earwax and Motorcycles

My kids' ears are full of earwax. They really need to be cleaned out. When I am speaking to Jacob I have to repeat everything I say. Everything. Twice. Two times. I tell ya, it will be a relief to finally go deaf when I'm old.
As my last post let on, I was able to spend V-Day with Lindsey. (Check out her post here for the dirt...) And we had a really, really great time. In fact it was slightly depressing to come home to my real life of laundry and grumpy kids. I had to remind myself that I had just had the ideal weekend, and of course coming back down to earth would be difficult, as would the switch from sleeping in to waking up at 6am everyday, and having to be grown up and serious. Everyone needs a girlfriend they can roll on the floor laughing with, and Lindsey was mine last weekend.
When I got home Beau couldn't stop laughing and saying "Mama!" He gave me the best hugs and showed me his new expanded vocabulary of "No! Nnnooo!" Bekah and Jacob claimed the gifts that Lindsey had given me - Bekah took my wand and Jacob took my red and black mug with a heart on it. So I ate the cookies I had brought home for them from Paradise bakery. Yum.
Anywho...Rus took me out on his (as in his Dad's) dirt bike yesterday. It was my second time riding it and I had a blast! I was able to get the hang of shifting, turning in sand, and re-starting it every time I *theoretically* ran into a sagebrush or got stuck in sand. The bike has a kick start and I could not start it for the life of me the first day I practiced. But yesterday with all the stalling out I did I think I figured it out...that is until the last time, which is the reason why Rus had to walk an extra - um I'll say 100 yards - to fetch the bike for his turn. I yelled at him to not make starting it look too easy, but he couldn't help himself. Booger. Now he's sweet talking me with things like "motorcycle safety course" and "pink helmet." And I'm letting him. What would my mother think of me now?!
Mmmm...We sold our Jeep Liberty yesterday night. A man with English as a sketchy second language seduced Rus with an envelope full of cash - hundreds, fifties, twenties, tens, and perfumed ones. Lots of them. I have a feeling it won't be too long before Rus buys himself a motorcycle. He's been waiting so patiently to have cash in hand, so now he just needs to find himself a good deal.

By the way, that article I was telling you about, the one with me as the author, is coming out on Tuesday. Eek! I'll share the link with you then! (In the meantime, I really need to subscribe to the magazine!)

The Sombrero on the Wall

So Lindsey and I have been reunited again for V-Day. We are joint-posting...Say hi, Lindsey...

It's 10:42 on Sunday night and we have spent the last two hours hanging pictures on the wall in her office-room. She has over a dozen that she wanted to hang and they are UP. And beautiful. And one is stubbornly crooked and pesky. See picture.See the beautiful little black circle which is really a sombrero? This will not be funny to you, I am sure, but here is the conversation that went into that little gem getting hung...

"Lindsey I think you need something small to fill in that space there."
"I have a sombrero we could use."
(I can't see right now...still funny...tears!)
"Is it a baby one?"
HAhahahahahaa!!

Oh my.

Lindsey here: What a magnificent feat (feet). To see a barren wall go from nothing to something...quite remarkable I must say, and I couldn't have done it without my Keri!! I may have given up so much earlier had she not been here. I am sure I would have ended up with one or two or perhaps...eek...even three pictures that would not be evenly hanged (ye, that is the word...thank you Mrs. Williams) on the wall.

See, the way I normally hang pictures is purely by guesswork. I put the picture on the wall where I want it to be, then I place my finger on the wall and then mark where my finger was with a pencil. And viola. A perfectly, or not so perfectly hanged picture. (This is how Keri hangs pictures - the Make It and Love It Way, see link on right...with tissue paper outlines...see how Keri is the slave?)

Case and point, Keri and I were trying to hang a piece of art using a ribbon. I crudely marked the sides of the poster where I thought there should be holes. See, the holes act as the place where I could weave a ribbon in and out to accentuate and give life to my Paris picture. Keri had stepped out of the room for a moment, and I thought "HAZAA time to show her my artistic skills." You try keeping up with this woman. I proceeded to mark on the picture where the holes would go. I started on one side, Keri rejoined me and began marking the other side...and began giggling at how the marks did not at all match up to the other marks I had made. With that, we burst into a fit of laughter wondering how in the world I marked one side...here is how the conversation went:

"Lindsey, how exactly did you measure this?"

"I started from the middle and went out."

Even now, it sounds so logical, right. Alas...the little pencil ticks did not lineup...by the end of the event we had to designate the correct pencil ticks from one another by using a star...because I didn't have an eraser to erase all those other accurately ;) measured ticks. Needless to say Lindsey-Logic lead to 6 ticks on one side and 27 ticks on the other...and still no eraser, don't get too close -k.

More fun stories to come. Like how absurdly good Lindsey is at math, measuring, and punching holes.

The not so perfect day

"Mom! We need our whistles! We could whistle for pigs to come over so we could kill them! And eat them! We need our gun, right?"

This was Jacob's loud and slightly disturbing revelation as we drove yesterday to the Rio Grande, about 10 minutes from our house. We had decided to get the kids out of the house for a walk, but we didn't feel like driving forever for an adventure. So Rio Grande it was.
I went on a cleaning binge yesterday morning, vacuuming the carpet where Colonel had shredded various items, like a tissue, a foam sword, and Bekah's old homework. In the process, the vacuum decided to disperse the sucked-up tissue all over the floor. Realizing that something was not right, I turned the churning vacuum over just in time for it to spit dirt all over Beau's face. Ouch. Then I realized that there were several levels of clog-ed-ness in my vacuum and employed desperate measures - the air compressor in my garage. It worked slightly better after all the filters were blown out. Just slightly...like it actually sucked a little. Yuck. I hate the fact that to have truly clean carpet I have to drop more dollars than I did for this vacuum at Walmart...like hundreds of dollars. (Although not thousands like the door to door Kirby people tell me.)
Mmmoving on, so did I also explain that the reason I had to clean the carpet was so I could move all the chairs from my kitchen into the living room so that I could sweep? There are levels of dirt on my kitchen floor. The first level is Mac&Cheese. This is where Beau or Bekah or Jacob clean off their plates while dispersing every fifth bite to the floor. I don't clean anything at this level. Colonel does.
The next level is ToeKick level. This is where my floor appears clean because all of the dirt has been somehow kicked to the toekick under the cabinets, and it only annoys me if I'm sitting at my table and I can see it.
Next up is BakingDay level. This is where my floor is sprinkled with residual chocolate chips and puffs of flour and grainy beds of sugar...where bread crumbs from dinner have slid off the counter onto the floor and odd ends of carrots or bell peppers dress everything up with orange and red. I usually sweep when it gets to this level because I hate the feeling of bell peppers stuck to my socks.
And the best level of them all is Colonel/Kids PostBakingDay, where the above mentioned mess is found among deserted books, toys, lonely socks and abandoned cups. And that is where I was yesterday. I'd call this code Red...it requires complete removal of anything mobile so that I can sweep up the rubble and be reminded of the color of my floor. (tanish-brownish-creamish vinyl.)
So no one can blame Rus for being at his wits-end as I up-ended our downstairs...and then to top it off Rus picked up a toy off the floor and Bekah wanted it. So he had her put it away and she just left it on the counter. (unthinkable.) So Rus threw it away, Bekah cried, I brushed my teeth, and we were loaded in the van five minutes later. I think Rus needed a Dr. Pepper at that point, but 10:30 was a little too early to start for him. Not really. He just didn't want to carry it while we walked.
We did our walk. (I love cottonwood trees.)
The kids got whiny/grumpy.
Rus got grumpy/snappy.
I yelled at Rus.
He huffed off with Beau and Colonel.
Bekah and Jacob stuck with me.
We went home, ate lunch, and took naps. Separately.
See? Not every hike ends perfectly. Or every day. (Even if you do get to eat a delicious peanut butter pie at the ward pie night. yum.) It wasn't until we were finally in bed, lights off, that we apologized to each other for being impatient/yelling.
But, my floor is still clean. Mac&Cheese level, baby.

My Life In Ruins...not really

This was our morning yesterday...
Naked Beau sitting on my bed, reading a book...Bekah commandeering Beau's old shoes to brace her crippled bear...Colonel taking a nap on my pillows...and sweater...Insidious pooper. He pooped on the legs of my table. And peed. I know you're sick of hearing about it. Believe me. I know. Oh and he's getting bigger. eek.Bekah insisted on packing lunches for our adventure yesterday. When I went downstairs I found her lunchbox filled with five granola bars, an orange, and three fudge brownies. Apparently those were the essentials. I added to that more real food and seven water bottles along with three winter jackets, gloves, hats, two kelty packs, Colonel, Colonel's kennel and leash and food, and Jacob's toolbox equipped with a batman movie we had rented the day before.
Jacob seemingly woke up in his hiking clothes (actually he did sleep in the same shirt...), complete with shoes and a big boogery smile. I hate how allergies and colds ruin my kids' good looks. Couldn't they just feel rotten but still look adorable, not like a petry dish of germs? Jakey is pretty stinkin' cute here.By 10:04 we were loaded in a clean van (I vacuumed, wowza, when you find an orange rind, a shriveled apple core, and a bald polly pocket, it is time) and headed south to have a picnic in Socorro, visit the New Mexico Tech Mineral Museum, and go for a hike at Ft. Craig.
We had invited anyone we thought would be remotely interested and so we were pleasantly surprised to find two families waiting at the rendezvous point...Carla and Doug and kids, and Scott and Lisa and kids. The park still had lingering snow, but the weather was wonderfully warm and sunny. I think we were all happy to have the sun warm our coats, especially half the kids who won't keep their coats on. I was finally able to show Bekah and Jacob the art of making a snow angel. After playing and eating we visited the Mineral museum which was a perfectly sized room (as in small and contained, one way in, one way out) full of displays of all different types of rocks. Here's Bekahite:
Ft. Craig was about 40 minutes south of Socorro. It was an old Union fort from the mid 1800s. Now all that's left are some crumbling walls - evidence of poor construction if you ask me. We had fun walking the trail around the ruins - the kids took turn holding Colonel's leash and winning skipping contests, whining about being tired and breaking down into tears, falling behind and being carried to the front. Here is Emma, mad at Rus for letting Jacob take a turn with Colonel's leash.On the way home Rus insisted we take the scenic route - meaning frontage roads, back roads, dirt roads, canal roads, and "Are we supposed to be driving here?" roads. I love looking at old homes and buildings, signs and bridges and fences. We drove past the Bosque del Apache, a wildlife preserve and took some neat pictures from there.We had a great time...I love spending time with my family! And that's just the way it's supposed to be, isn't it?

By the way I submitted some essays to a Santa Fe magazine, Tumbleweeds, and they are going to be published next month! I'll keep you posted...yay!