A confession...I lie to my children.
Just swallow the moral uprising in your chest and hear me out...
Children are very tricky little beasts. And my children have somehow learned that while they may be small, many a small and simple thing can take out a seemingly superior mother/father figure. Irrational questions, whiny voices, and unparalleled stubborness on vague issues are just a few of the tools they use. Simply speaking, they fight dirty and sometimes the only way to get ahead is to play the game their way. So...when Bekah won't eat her dinner of yummy spanish rice and tortillas, I tell her the rice will make her tongue super RED, and the more she eats the more red her tongue will be. And would you believe that broccoli actually makes her tongue super GREEN! And then, to top it off, both she and Jacob have little baby alligators in their tummies that are starving! And they are crying, and if they would just eat their food then they would be full, happy baby alligators. These are not, of course, the same alligators that live on the hill by our house. No, that's a mommy, daddy, and baby alligator that pull our van when we're going on long trips. They go really fast and that's why we can't stop when she drops her granola bar/book/doll. Another strange creature that goes on trips with us is the "little Hailey" that resides in the back pocket of my seat, which is right in front of Bekah. (Really when I told her this I said "there's a little alien in that seat pocket", but she misunderstood and thought I said Hailey, who is the 6 or 7 year old very blonde, cute daughter of my friend) Anyways, Bekah knows that if she kicks my seat, the little Hailey will jump out and pinch her on the nose. Another terrifying feature of our van is the eject button. Oh, yeah. If you don't have one you should go talk to the manufacturer. Our van has automatic sliding doors, and if you push the button to open them while you're driving, they make a loud "beep. beep. beep. beep" sound. Bekah hears this sound and thinks that it is the last thing that she will here before being mercilessly ejected into the sky above. It's actually not the most effective tactic because it results in her screaming "NO! DON'T EJECT ME!", but Rus gets a kick out of it and uses it way more than I do.
Hmmm...I think that's the majority of it. There is the gunny bunny that eats toys that get left out over night, but I think he's a pretty common household figure.
So, I hope you don't think any less of me. I am grateful for Bekah's vivid imagination, that she indulges me in all of my schemes. It sure does make dinnertime, driving, and life in general much more interesting...
3 comments:
Ah yes, I loved the one my parents told me about that if I crossed my eyes they would stay that way, or when I had braces that if I kissed other boys that had braces, we would get stuck....although, I think this is mildly true. Anywho...not lies, just little fibs that help the day go so much faster and give you something to laugh about too....
I hope you know I was taking notes while reading this...you are a genius! Sometimes I wonder how mothers do it...I hope the little lies come naturally when the children come. I'm just not that creative!
Wow! Now I'm thinking maybe I take too much of a serious approach to Fae! If I told her there were baby aligators in her tummy waiting to be fed, she'd probably cry and say she didn't want baby aligators in her tummy. Then again, the girl is a little strange and feeds off the odd truths. She is a wealth of information to all strangers on the ills of many things. All true but told in such a horrific way that there will never be a doubt on any issue. :0)
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